Day Dreaming

What do you search in life? Someone must know about it. And, it’s not so easy. One said that it’s complicated to search the meaning of life rather than try to manage it. In fact, we never fully understand ourselves, so the question is how can we define the meaning of our life. What its matter, what doesn’t, what’s important to our life and so on. So many questions arise. Once, there is physiatrist that tell, in imaginary way, that there must be homunculus (little creature) living inside our head. They control our act, proposing something that we should do.

Everything in this world starts with an idea. Human always wander something that sometimes they couldn’t afford to do it. Things like this that makes us never happy in life. We aren’t still capable accepting the fact who are we.

If you can dream, but don’t make your dream become your master,’ said Kipling.

Life is just like a puzzle. But, we can’t ever leave our history. Human can change by the way; it’s only matter of time and only that things make us unique. Everyone not has the same hat. How you chose to react in certain situation, just those things that make the difference, because sometime we can’t chose what kind of life we deserved.

What’s that make us feel happy? How we define (that) “happy” feeling? All the things begin to become relative because of that question. Between 0 and infinity depend on who answer it. I remember something fishy story about that. When I was a student, the thing that made me happy was graduating from school with the best score. When I graduated from school, the thing that made happy was finding the good job. When I was an employer, the things that made me happy was finding good mate. After I married, the thing that made me happy was having a baby. And, so on…

So life, when its comes to the definition of fulfillment “the life” itself, is like a loop that never end before we are dead. War of mind is never end. Hence, instead of escaping from reality, we wouldn’t us life fully in this moment, for every second that will just pass and never come back.

Feel today, forgot tomorrow. Today is a present, isn’t it? The only best things that we can do in life is learning to survive, so with that we could guide our future. Make our own way. Sense …, Listen, Hear, Feel and pass it …..   Every person that we meet everyday could become our teacher. They trying to remind us cause there is no accident in life.

Duran Duran- Ordinary World

Why I hate tomorrow?

As a human, we should think about tomorrow, shouldn’t we? Its Saturday, I wake up with a little bit dizzy head, but it’s not it that disturb me. Everything was fine, I can feel the warmth of the sun, wake up in my own bed, but one thing: there is fishy question that hanging in my minds. I don’t know, maybe this because last night, I was listening SUM 41, RHCP, or some band that can make us think that our life, actually, if I can say: to be fabricated.

Question that passed in my head in that time: If I have two chances, only two chances in my life, what will be my decision?

1. Life in the system. Have a normal life. Go to work in the morning, go home. Not very monotone though, but surely, I will lost my awareness in life because when you life in the system, you must do what the system need.  
2. Life as you pleased, become forgotten people, spend life in small community, but you have a sense. Heart full of the feeling. Silence as the nature; don’t give a fuck what other people said about you.

 I don’t know what God will give to me. That’s why I hate the tomorrow, because you must have a plan. What next…. What next … It’s not about the dream, it’s about the passion. Not all the people know what they all want to do next. Its same everywhere and I think I am not the only one. As I presumed in several month that I spend in French, not matured enough as I think, but I start to accept my existence, my fear, loneliness, feel of the isolation, the kindness of the stranger around me and of course Indonesian people as we have same fate. My heart isn’t dry anymore.

I thought in the first place, that my decision is number two. Why? It’s so funny think that naturally I don’t want to talk about it. But, one reason that decided me to go to french, is I don’t want to search a job, after I graduated from my institution in Indonesia. Its weird thought, but I think we can get the money in many ways, can’t we?

As my time study in french will be over in 3 month, I just feel a little bit tired, particularly maybe bored. Sometimes, I watched “slimy film”, just to get some adrenaline out of me as a normal man. But, I think I must search some healthy way. I am very jealous with the people that already have their passion. I don’t know how to get that. Feeling pleasure what they do. As I can cited from speaker of some conference: A free sea diver that tell how he feels when he swim into the deep of the sea, as deep beyond 100 meter, breaking the common sense of the theorist that said 100 meter is the limit. He defeats the common sense under the dark since the sun cannot penetrate the ocean. When he goes to the surface, he must double his power because of the gravity. When everything that he saw is same everywhere, such in the space, very empty, but can have extraordinary feeling. I miss that feeling, the feeling that make every single my cell in my body coordinate and make same movement.

I just can’t simply deny what I suppose to do as a student. I know that the future is at our hands. I just let go my crazy things sometimes because I don’t have enough time to things about that as my activity consume so many thoughts. But, I just fell something is missed in my life. We win some and lose some.

Konvensi yang Gagal

Ada sebuah terms unik dalam bidang fisik, yaitu kata “inertia”. Inertia mengajarkan kepada kita bahwa ada sebuah resistansi atau hambatan pada sebuah benda, yang menghalanginya untuk bergerak, jika dia diam. Atau, yang menghalanginya untuk diam, jika dia bergerak. Maka secara apriori, dikatakan: benda yang bergerak dengan kecepatan tetap, akan terus bergerak selamanya, jika tidak ada gaya berlawanan yang menyebabkan benda itu untuk diam. Terlintas, definisi seperti ini agak membingungkan.

Teori mengajarkan kepada kita untuk selalu berpikir segalanya adalah ideal, hampir semua . Sedangkan, para pemikir praktis berpendapat: tunggu dulu, dikondisi seperti ini, itu tidak berlaku lagi dst. Untuk contoh kasus di atas misalkan, inertia tidak akan terpenuhi karena ada gaya gesek, gravitasi, tekanan dsb di alam. Contoh lain (yang lebih dramatis), teori mungkin bilang (-2) adalah jumlah ikan yang kita dapat setelah memancing seharian. Namun, mana mungkin orang akan mengatakan saya telah mendapatkan -2 ikan. Minus dua tidak menandakan apa-apa, selain anda pulang ke rumah dengan tangan kosong setelah berusaha memancing seharian.